Our New Blog

Check out our new blog at

www.weloveourcaroline.blogspot.com

2012: The Worst Best Year of My Life

We welcomed our beautiful baby girl into the world this year.

We also said goodbye to her this year.

Caroline's burial box that we were able to paint and personalize

We got to wake up every morning and experience the sweetest smile from the cutest little boy in the world this year.

We cried out to the Lord every single day to bring healing to his body.

Hospital stay #1

Hospital stay #2

Hospital stay #3

Physical therapy

Occupational Therapy

Home therapy :)

Like I said.

The WORST year.

The BEST year.

A Holiday Home

I love to decorate!

I REALLY love to decorate our house.  (Just ask Doug to show you our bank statements - LOL)

I think that decorating your house turns your house it into a home and HOME is where I always want my family to feel comfortable, cozy, loved and safe.

Although Christmas decorations can sometimes crowd the living space (my front door cannot be used during the holidays because our tree is blocking it), I love them because all the pretty colors and lights make our house feel so welcoming and festive.

So . . . . .

Welcome to our Holiday Home!

No holiday home is complete without a scented candle.  Mulled Cider from Wal-Mart is my F.A.V.O.R.I.T.E.

For 3 years I led a small group for some of the sweetest 4 5 8 11 (they kept coming!) college girls at Mississippi College.  They gave me and Doug this Nativity as a wedding gift.

Just recently, I got this surprise in the mail from a few of the girls.

  In case you can't figure it out, that's a sweet Mama Angel holding my Caroline.  It doesn't exactly go with the Nativity scene but I put it there anyway :)

Benaiah has his own little Christmas tree in his room.

Adding new ornaments to my tree each year is so much fun.  I like to buy ornaments to commemorate special moments.  This year I added 2 ornaments for Caroline and my "ornament swap" ornament (see previous posts).  I also added this one from our summer vacation to Chicago.

I got these to document our little man through the years.

I just LOVE these ornaments!  I got them from a shop on Etsy called Simkas.
Also - FYI - I got Caroline's ornament from a shop on Etsy called The Back Porch Shoppe.

And, of course, the best part of a Holiday Home - 

The Tree!

Merry Christmas!

Y'all come back any time!

Christmas Festivities

Master Benaiah has been enjoying some fun Christmas parties this year.

First, there was Daddy's party at work.  He got to take a picture with Santa and his crew!

Then, we had a kids party at our church, Grace City, where we all got to dress up in some festive headgear.

Um, Mama?  What did you put on my head?

At the party, Benaiah got to make his first craft.  His footprints made a Christmas tree!

I went solo to an ornament swap with the ladies at our church.  I got this cute little guy to hang on our tree this year.

Doug and I had our own Christmas fun by making a snowman out of Rice Krispie treats.

Sad to say but Mr. Snowman didn't stand up very long so we ended up putting him in a pan and cutting him into squares :(

Our community group's Christmas party got cancelled this weekend because of the weather but there are only a few days left before Alicia's family rolls into town from South Florida and . . .

the Christmas festivities continue !!!

Sunday Praises!

I'm so excited to finally be able to tell the world about what the Lord has been doing in the lives of our four best friends :)

Scott and Amy and Gary and Michelle have been trying to adopt from China for the past 4+ years.  The wait has been excruciating at times and, from the looks of things, the wait could last another several years.

Doug, me, Michelle, Gary, Amy, Scott
This is the only picture I have of all 6 of us and it was taken 3 years ago - PRE-baby weight gain :)

Both couples have recently been seeking the Lord about other avenues of adoption that He may have for them.

I'll start with Amy and Scott (and I'll try to give the short version - HA!)

They are in the process of adopting SEVEN siblings from an Asian country!!! (I'm not sure if I'm supposed to say which one.)  Y'all, these are the most BEAUTIFUL children you've ever seen in your entire life!  Scott and Amy saw this group of "waiting children" on their adoption agency's website and the Lord continued to put these sweet kiddos on their hearts.  It took MONTHS to get the information they needed about the children and then viola!  Out of NOWHERE, their social worker called and said that the kids are "on hold" for them to adopt!

There is so much paperwork involved in an international adoption that it makes my head spin, but they and their adoption agency are doing things as quickly as possible so that "Asia" can decide whether or not to approve them for the adoption within the next few months.

Please pray that "Asia" will approve them.  Pray also for Scott and Amy as they prepare to become a family of 9 - and believe me - there is A LOT to do in order to prepare to have 7 kids at one time! :)

Now on to Gary and Michelle....

Just 2 days after we got the news that "the 7" were on hold for Scott and Amy, Gary and Michelle made a surprise visit to our house.  I thought they were going to tell us that they were moving so I was trying to prepare myself for bad news.  HOW WRONG I WAS.  They came to share the FABULOUS news that they got a referral for a little boy!!!

About 6 weeks prior, Gary and Michelle stepped out on faith and applied for a private adoption from a Marshallese community in Northwest Arkansas.  I know.  It sounds random but actually our pastor and his wife are adopting from this same community.  (They adopted their son from the Marshall Islands last year and are thrilled to be adding another Marshallese baby to their family early next year!)  If any of you are familiar with the adoption process, you know that getting a referral just 6 weeks after you apply for adoption is absolutely UNHEARD OF.  But here we are - preparing to welcome Baby Davison to the world this Spring!

Please pray for the health of Baby D and his birth mother.  Pray for Gary and Michelle as the Lord continues to prepare them for parenthood.

For both couples, pray for financial needs to be met.  It ain't cheap to adopt!

We are all in awe of how God is working to build both of these couples' families as they are following Him and stepping out in faith into some seemingly unchartered territories.

From a personal standpoint I just have to say that I needed this.  Our family has felt so attacked (and defeated) this year.  The spiritual war over those of us who desire to build godly families is very tangible to me right now.

I needed to see that Satan isn't winning...

...that God is moving...

...that He's defending us...

...that He's protecting our children.

When we heard the news of these 2 "victories", my insides felt happy for the first time in months.

I can't wait to meet our new friends!!!

4 months

Dear Caroline,

Today you would have been 4 months old.

We miss you in a way that words simply cannot express.

We hung your ornaments on the Christmas tree today.

I got you this ornament because I think you were going to be a beautiful ballet dancer.  

I know you're dancing beautifully for our Savior now.

We hung your stocking today too.  I didn't have time to get your name embroidered on it this year but I will get it done before next Christmas!

We are so heartbroken to be making Christmas memories this year without you here with us.  

We have plans to see many of our family members over the next couple of weeks, but . . . . 

Our family gatherings will forever be incomplete without you.

My Christmas tree will never have enough "Caroline" ornaments on it.

There will never be any presents for you under the tree.

I will never hear you sing "Away in a Manger".

I will never get to dress you up in cute Christmas outfits.

You will never help me make Christmas cookies.

I will never see your face light up when you open your Christmas gifts.

I will never get to read Luke 2 to you.

These things probably seem very insignificant from your heavenly point of view.

But they are realities that I am grieving right now.

It has been difficult for me to celebrate Jesus' birthday this year.

All I seem to be able to do is think about His second coming.

We are begging Him to come quickly.

We long to be with you, baby girl.

I love you,

Mama

THANK YOU!!!

Doug and I want to say a HUGE "Thank You!" to everyone who came to Chick-fil-a Monday night to support the NICU at UMC in Caroline's memory.  I want to give an EXTRA HUGE shout out to Marcille McLendon, the women's soccer coach at Hinds, and the Hinds soccer teams for organizing the event.  They were so sweet to do this on our family's behalf!

We were overwhelmed by the hundreds of people - especially those from our Hinds family - who came inside to love on us and tell us how much they have been praying for us - and we know there were many more of you who came because we heard that the drive thru line was insanely long!  I'm not a patient person when it comes to the drive thru at a fast food restaurant so I want to say THANK YOU to all of you who patiently waited in line!

When we totaled up the 15% from the Chick-fil-a sales plus all of the tips that everyone donated, we had over $600!  Many more of our loved ones have made donations to the NICU so that puts the total amount of donations in the thousands!

After Caroline passed away we were able to spend time with her in the transition room at the NICU.  This room is primarily used for mothers who are about to take their babies home from the NICU and need to learn how to use the home health equipment that the baby still needs.  It is a room that will forever be significant to us since that is where we held our sweet baby for the last time.  We talked with a social worker at the NICU and she told us of some items that they would like for that room in order to make it more comfortable for the mothers.  Most of the money that has been donated in Caroline's memory will be used to purchase these items.  We are glad to help the NICU out in any way but there is something extra special about being able to provide something for that room in particular.

I was so busy running my mouth at Chick-fil-a on Monday that I completely forgot to take any pictures of the event so I thought I'd share this picture with everyone.  On the Friday after Caroline died, the men and women's soccer teams reserved some time in between their games to pray for our family.  After the prayer, the players released 20 pink balloons - one for each day that Caroline lived.

It was absolutely beautiful.

Just like our baby girl.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I'm ready to eat!

Honestly, Doug and I knew it would be hard to be around big crowds of family this year so we decided to have our own little family Thanksgiving celebration at our house.

My mom came over and we cooked a feast for a king!  I've never put so many things in my oven at one time! :)

The kitchen got so hot, we decided to cool off by eating with the door open - HA!

Benaiah says, "I'm Stuffed!"

Lord,

We are thankful for the gift of children most of all this year.  You have honored us by letting us be Benaiah and Caroline's Mommy and Daddy.

Amen