Happy 1st Birthday Benaiah!

I can't believe a whole year has passed by!!!  How did this happen so quickly Baby Boy???!!!

Newborn

1 month

2 months

3 months

4 months

5 months

6 months

7 months

8 months

9 months

10 months

11 months

12 months

One year ago today you entered our world.  We held you for the first time.  We smelled you for the first time.  We kissed you for the first time.  And for the first time we could understand how much our own parents have loved us our entire lives.  

You weren't supposed to arrive until September 12th, but you had gotten so big in Mama's tummy that we decided it would be best to go ahead and have you a couple of weeks early.  Dr. Travelstead broke my water at 7:15am on August 31st......and we were off!!!  I made the choice to have you with NO - ZERO - pain medications.  Let me tell you - I was callin' on Jesus to come get me!  Childbirth is P.A.I.N.F.U.L.  Your Gran said I should have been a cheerleader because she could hear me yelling all the way down the hall. :) Sounds irritated me while I was in labor so your Daddy wasn't allowed to say anything to me except to tell me when each contraction was coming and going.  We will always laugh about the fact that he would tell me to take deeper breaths and I would say, "Shhhhhh!"  But then my nurse, Michelle, would tell me the same thing and I would just start taking deeper breaths :)

Less than 5 hours after labor started you made your grand appearance....and MIRACULOUSLY, all the pain was gone!  Seeing you and hearing you cry for the first time was so beautiful to me that I didn't feel anything other than joy.

  

We still smile when we recall the first little "huuuuuuh" sounds you made as you slept next to us in our hospital room.  I always giggle when I think about the ride home from the hospital.  I sat in the backseat next to you and held your hand while your Daddy drove 50 miles an hour on the Interstate.  You don't understand this right now, but that is slow.  We were soooooo nervous to drive with a new, precious little life in the car with us!

Our hearts were broken in March when you were diagnosed with CFTD and we realized that your developmental path was going to look differently from what we'd expected.  We entered an intense time of seeing doctors and therapists, having surgeries and leaning on the Lord more than ever, trusting Him and only Him for your complete healing.

We celebrate all of your wonderful accomplishments, Benaiah Williams - When you hold your head up, when you try to sit up, when you smile, when you look at me with your beautiful blue eyes, when you sing as we listen to praise music, when you kick your legs and make yourself bounce up and down in your bouncy seat, when you fake yawn to get out of doing physical therapy..... all of it is pure delight to us, sweet boy.

We love you like nobody's business and look forward to what the Lord has in store for your 2nd year of life!

Love,

Mama and Daddy

2 weeks

Happy Birthday Precious Caroline!!!

"My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:15-16

Dear Caroline,

Yesterday you turned 2 weeks old!  You are so beautiful, sweet girl.  You have grown so much in just 2 weeks - you've already gained 1 pound, 7 ounces!  Look how much you've grown since last week!

Your Daddy and I have mixed emotions about how big you are getting.  We are so thankful that you are getting the nutrition you need and are growing!  At the same time, our hearts aaaaaaache to hold you and mourn the fact that we never got to hold you when you were just an itty bitty thing.  We remind ourselves daily that this time of not being able to hold you will hopefully result in getting to be able to hold you for the rest of our lives.

It still hurts though.

We made sure to sing "Happy Birthday" to you yesterday.  I think this will be the first song you'll ever sing because your Daddy makes sure to sing it to you every day :)  Every day is a victory for you, Caroline, and your Daddy is your biggest advocate.  He is on top of things!  He watches your vital stats like a hawk and talks to every nurse and every doctor as each shift changes in the NICU to make sure that we are all on the same page.  Most nights I'm not able to go back to the hospital with your Daddy because I need to be home with your big brother, but he is good about calling me and sending me pictures of you so that I can get an update on how your night is going.  He does a GREAT job of helping me be in two places at once.

You had a really good day yesterday.  You were resting well and the nurses were able to lower your oxygen and nitric acid levels.  Last night, though, you got REALLY agitated and your levels had to be turned up again.  It was a very scary time for us.  We got even more scared today when we were told that the nurses had to manually help you breathe and that your right lung wasn't filling up with air.  You have what is called pulmonary hypertension.  This is a very scary thing for a baby to have so we are asking all of our friends and family to pray for you tonight.  We need many people to intercede for you and to ask the Lord to heal you of this.  The doctors use the term "critical condition" when they speak of your health and I just cringe every time I hear those words.  Our stomachs are constantly in knots because it is so hard to see your body in distress.  We are in prayer every waking moment, begging the Lord to heal you here on Earth and bring you home to us.

We don't know God's plan for you, Caroline, but we sure voice our opinion as to what we think it should be to Him aaaaaaallllll the time :)  He tells us that His thoughts are not our thoughts and His ways are not our ways and boy! are we coming to a new understanding of that!  We trust Him with you, Caroline.  You are in the palm of His hand; and even though my human nature often feels that you would be safer in my hands right now, you wouldn't be.  You are in the hands of your Creator and we will continue to pray that He will perform a MIRACULOUS HEALING in your body.

We love you more than you'll ever know,
Mama

Pray for our Sweet Caroline

Caroline with her little earmuffs on.  She wasn't tolerating all of the noise in the NICU too well :)

Our precious Caroline surprised us by arriving 5 weeks early on August 15, 2012.  She weighed 6 1/2 pounds and was 19 1/2 inches long.  We had quite the difficult pregnancy - Caroline was diagnosed with hydrocephalus very early on in the pregnancy.  We could also see in the dozens of ultrasounds that were performed that she was not able to swallow, her jaw was small and there was a deformity with one of her feet.  We met with a number of doctors and there were a few educated guesses as to what genetic disease Caroline may have.  Trisomy 18 was a strong possibility but Doug and I chose not to test for this while she was in the womb.  The genetic tests were run soon after she was born and all of her sweet chromosomes are in perfect order!  PRAISE THE LORD!!!

As expected, however, Caroline does have many health problems and has been in the NICU at UMC since her big arrival.  Thankfully, she doesn't have esophageal atresia which was the diagnosis she was given to explain why she wasn't swallowing.  We still don't know why she is unable to swallow but our best guess at this point is that it's a neurological issue.  Her jaw is on the small side but it's not causing any problems at the moment so we'll cross that bridge when we get there.  She was born without any toes on her right foot which, I'll admit, is heartbreaking to her Mama but, at the same time, isn't life threatening so, again, we'll do what we have to do to help that precious little foot out when it's time.  Along with her pre-mature lung development, the hydrocephalus is the most pressing issue these days.  When she was only 8 days old, Miss Caroline had surgery :( She had a shunt put in her head to begin draining off all of the extra fluid.  The shunt is definitely doing its job.  We can see a very drastic change in her head shape already!

Unfortunately the sudden changes on her brain as the pressure has been taken off has produced some seizure activity and some pulmonary distress.....but our sweet Caroline has already proven to be a F.I.G.H.T.E.R.  On Saturday one of her lungs began to collapse, the doctors had to "bag" her, she had to get some blood to help get oxygen to her body and she got put on nitrogen (or nitrate?) to help better move the oxygen throughout her body.  THEN on Sunday she began having seizures and she had to be put on several seizure medications.  Fortunately,  I can say that she hasn't had any setbacks since Sunday night and we're praying that her lungs and brain activity begin to improve each day.  Caroline is still considered in "critical condition" so PLEASE continue to pray for her.

Doug and I want to let all of our friends and family know how much your calls, texts, emails, acts of service and, most importantly, your prayers have meant to us.  You have rallied your churches, small groups, prayer warriors, etc. to intercede for our family as we have faced many medical issues this year with Benaiah and Caroline.  Don't stop praying!  Please continue to join Doug and me as we plead with the Lord to show his sweet mercy on our babies and provide healing to their bodies.

Love,
Elaine

Paris

Ok. So here are my pictures from Paris. There aren't nearly as many as there were from Ireland but that's because we were only in Paris for 24 hours. Literally. We walked past many of the major tourist attractions, took a picture to prove we were there and then walked on to see the next icon.

Y'all, Paris didn't let me down. It was every bit as beautiful and romantic as I thought it would be. I was giddy the entire 24 hours we were there and I think I cried twice because I just couldn't believe I was there. I call Paris my "grown-up New York City". I wanted to live in New York City since I was 10 years old. And when the Lord finally got me there, it met and EXCEEDED my expectations. That city will always hold a special place in my heart. Paris is now that place that I dream about. I don't know that Doug and I will ever live there, but we definitely want to spend more time there one day and get to know the people better. It's funny because now whenever I'm having a bad day, Doug says, "Remember when we were in Paris?"......and I always smile :)

P.S. In my last post, I forgot to give props to Kristin for many of the pictures you saw from Ireland. My camera's battery died at the end of our day in Paris, and I was scared to charge it back up because of our experience with the hair straighteners. So lots of those pictures you saw of Ireland were actually Kristin's. She did a WAY better job than I did taking pictures to document the trip. Thanks, Kristin!!!!

http://picasaweb.google.com/dougwilliams601/Paris?pli=1&gsessionid=5KN5BFqor3DkzbNoc7axaw#

Summer Vacation

This summer we had the blessing of going on vacation with one of my best friends, Kristin, and her hubby, Gary, to IRELAND!!! We spent a few days in New York with Brennan and Kelli before we left, a day in Paris in the middle of our trip and 2 more nights in New York on our way back to Mississippi. It was a jam-packed trip, and we had a GREAT time!

Note: You may notice that Kristin and I are wearing hats in many of the photos. That is because BOTH of our hair straighteners got fried when we tried to use them in Ireland! OBVIOUSLY we didn't have the correct adapter. Y'all, my hair gets frizzy even when I DO use my hair straightener. You DO NOT want to be subjected to what my hair looks like when there is zero straightening involved!

Enjoy the pictures! (Click on "slideshow" and you can see the pictures and captions better!)

http://picasaweb.google.com/dougwilliams601/Ireland03#

Let's Play Catch-Up!

Summer vacation is over. (sniff, sniff)

Believe me - Doug and I feel every bit of that statement. Busyness is back in full swing with the beginning of school and the soccer season. We've got 4 weeks under our belt, and I need a pick-me-up, so I thought I'd reminisce about our summer...

Doug teaches summer school in June, so I spent my time redecorating our house. We actually started making changes to Doug's bachelor pad the day we got married, but my vision wasn't complete until this summer...

Kitchen before:

Kitchen after:

Doug was a litte nervous when he saw the green color I wanted to paint the kitchen, but I think he warmed up to it pretty quickly.

Living room before:

Living room after:

I absolutely ADORE our cozy, little home. When we found out we were pregnant last May, Doug suggested we get a larger home, and I cried at the thought of leaving this place that I love so much. Needless to say, when the Lord does bless us with a child, we will be staying put. :)

Sunday Mornings

Do you ever wake up on a Sunday morning and realize that you only have 15 minutes to get ready for church? Well, that happened to me this morning only because my sweet husband let me sleep in. He knew I needed some rest, so he went on to church while I stayed at home and had my own personal worship service. Let me tell you....we can have some CHURCH up in the Williams' house!!! We LOVE to listen to praise and worship music, and Doug especially likes to listen to sermons online. (You can see our faves by looking at the list to your right.)

So this morning I listened to a great sermon by Robert Morris and then I found this awesome worship song on YouTube that just really got my spiritual juices flowin'!

Enjoy and have a great Sabbath!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAsaiXMZsfc&feature=related

Here are the lyrics:

God Be Praised

Gateway Generate
David and Alena Moore

You saved my life from death
When I was all but defeated
You spoke Your promises
And brought life to my weakness
Came as a conquering king
And You warred for my freedom
My soul can’t help but sing
Hallelujah

You opened up my eyes
For the first time I saw You
Your love commanding life
And deserving devotion
You told me who I am
Now in faith I believe it
My soul can’t help but sing
Hallelujah

You’ve made a place for me
Silenced all my accusers
Leading me forth with peace
Filled with joy I will follow
Your cross demands my life
Now Your grace is my anthem
My soul can’t help but sing
Hallelujah

Hallelujah, we’re redeemed and made free
By the blood ofthe Lamb We have won
Hallelujah, we will sing victory
Jesus conquered the grave
God be praised

Footprints in the Sand

By Mary Stevenson

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
 Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
 In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
 Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
 other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed
 that during the low periods of my life,
 when I was suffering from
 anguish, sorrow or defeat,
 I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Lord,
“You promised me, Lord, that if I followed you,
 you would walk with me always.
 But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
 there have only been one set of footprints in the sand.
 Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied,
 “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints in the sand 
is when I carried you.”

I remember first reading this poem when I was in high school. Hard times seemed never-ending during my 11th and 12th grade years, and this poem gave me a wonderfully vivid picture of how I was ever going to make it through.

The Lord is carrying Doug and me these days. June 1st is when we found out that we had miscarried our first baby. There really aren't words to describe the heartbreak we are experiencing. All I know is that we were in love with this little being God used us to create - And coming to the realization that we will never get to see, touch, hear or smell our precious child here on this earth is absolutely devastating.

We didn't realize it would happen so fast until it happened to us: You grow Mommy and Daddy hearts THE MOMENT you find out your pregnant! Doug was so cute. He said there wasn't any point in talking to the baby in the womb until late in the pregnancy because the baby really wouldn't be able to hear anything until then. Yeah, right. That "belief" didn't last very long. Every day that boy would talk to my stomach!!! LOL And since the baby was due January 1st, he wanted to make sure the house would be nice and warm for the baby's arrival, so he spent 2 days caulking all of the windows.

Despite my never-ending nausea, I tried to eat healthier. And I even tried to "be stern with" my kids at school using a kinder tone of voice so the baby wouldn't feel any negativity from his mama - and, as any teacher knows, that can be VERY challenging during the last weeks of school! :) It's funny how even hard things don't seem as hard when you get a Mommy heart. As many of you know, I have some paralysis in my left leg, and, let me tell you - I'd give both my legs just to be able to have our baby still growing in my tummy. I DEFINITELY wouldn't have said that without my new Mommy heart!

I don't think our Mommy and Daddy hearts are going anywhere. You should hear us! Doug and I talk like proud parents when we think about how awesome it is that our child gets to worship our Creator day in and day out. We also think it's pretty cool that, since we didn't get the opportunity to name our child, God got to choose the name.

Doug and I are definitely different now. I think we have a richer love and admiration for one another as we walk with each other through this. I am amazed at the grace God gives us each day to find new joys in the midst of our pain. I said this in an email I wrote to many of you, and it just becomes more true with each passing day: to follow Christ is to be bipolar. You can rejoice and suffer in the same breath.

Hello, Suffering.

You always think you're going to get the best of me....and you're ALWAYS dead wrong.

My man, Jesus Christ, has the best of me.

Yes, I admit you have caused both of us a great deal of pain, but you seemingly forget how much stronger He is than you.

His Voice is stronger. His Comfort is stronger. His Joy is stronger. His Compassion is stronger.

I am quite sure, Suffering, that I will see you again before I depart this world.

And I will persevere....again.

I will persevere not because I am strong...but because I am so incredibly weak, and I know there's only One Way for me to endure the wrenching heartache that you cause me:

I will wrap my arms around my Daddy's neck.

I will bury my head in His chest.

I will, no doubt, cry the ENTIRE way.

And I will let Him carry me.

Christmas '09: Phase I

What a wonderful first Christmas together Doug and I had this year! First of all, we are so blessed to both be educators and get 2 full weeks of vacation!!! Our holiday got kicked off with a visit from Doug's brother, Scot, and his fiance, Ashley. They drove in from Atlanta, and we were all able to participate in the Buried Treasures Christmas party. (As many of you know, Doug's mom and stepdad run a ministry that serves women in the Hinds County prison system called Buried Treasures. FBC Jackson has a Christmas party each year where all of the inmate's children come to get Christmas presents and hear the Gospel.)

That night, Doug's brother, Clay, and his family were able to join us, and the whole family was treated to pizza at our favorite pizza place, Sal and Mookies!

It was a quick trip for Scot and Ashley, but before they left on Sunday, we had a lovely brunch at the Fairview Inn. Here's a picture of the boys and their Mama!

So Scot left Sunday afternoon and Chuck and his family rolled into town from Florida Sunday night! Here are all the kids in their Christmas pj's.

Anna Reid didn't quite make it into the pj picture, but I couldn't leave her and all of her cuteness out!

So here's a pic of the other boys and their Mama. :)

And that concludes Phase I of the Williams' 1st Christmas!

Phase II

Phase II began on Christmas day. We went to my cousin Marcus' house to celebrate with my mom's side of the family. It's always good to spend time with Granny and Pappaw. :)

Doug and I spent the day after Christmas with my dad's side of the family at Mimi's house. I must have been in a food coma because I didn't take ANY pictures!

Alicia's family didn't travel this Christmas since James Andrew just arrived, so we headed up to Oxford this weekend to see the kiddos!

Lucy was VERY excited to see that Grammy gave her a new Bob the Tomato!

James Andrew just chilled the whole time. :)

As Doug says, "This is a picture of us with somebody else's kids." LOL

Could Lucy PLEASE just get a little bit more excited about things? Haha.

I know we are WAY behind the times, but my brother-in-law, James, introduced us to Guitar Hero. We are totally hooked now.

Don't we look intense???!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!!!!!

Happy Birthday, James Andrew!

Last Saturday my nephew, James Andrew, was born, so today is his 1 week birthday!!! I've wanted to post photos of him all week, but this is honestly the first second I've had all week to sit down at the computer for more than 2 minutes.

This little (well, not-so-little!) guy is the most handsome thing I've ever seen! I really didn't think I'd fall in love with a little boy so fast but he has already stolen my heart. He and Alicia won't be traveling for Christmas, but we are planning on going back to Oxford after Christmas to see them again.

OK. Enough talk. Here are some pictures...

Let me tell you, Alicia gives birth better than anybody on the face of the planet. James Andrew and Lucy were born at approximately the same time and in the same way. Here's a quick summary: Alicia wakes up around 6am with back pain, so she heads to the hospital around 6:30. Baby is here by 9am!!! No time for an epidural, people. She had a 9 lb 1 oz baby NATURALLY! She is my hero.

Just a few hours after giving birth, she completed this painting for the hospital door.

Then she looked this good for a picture.

Lucy likes James Andrew but wasn't nearly as interested in him as she was in coloring with Uncle Doug.

James Andrew, your Uncle Doug and Aunt Elaine love you so much. We look forward to watching you grow into a mighty man of God.

Thankful

Last night marked the end of the Hinds Soccer team's 2009 season. It's been an uphill battle for the team all season long but as I sat with the team at Cracker Barrel after the game last night, I saw growth. Growth in 18 and 19 year old boys is sometimes hard to determine, but it was definitely there last night. Three months ago I saw 22 young, immature boys; and last night I saw 22 maturing men. There's no doubt in my mind that Doug has a lot to do with the growth they've experienced over the past 3 months. He has challenged them to grow as soccer players like they've never been challenged before. But, more importantly, he has challenged them to become men of character - Men of God.

As the team was huddled up after their loss last night, many of the boys' parents came up to me and expressed how thankful they were that their son had the opportunity to play on Doug's team. They weren't talking about how happy they were that their sons played on a good soccer team but, rather, how Doug had impacted the lives of their sons in such a positive way. One dad said, "My son came to me the other day and said, 'Dad, there are only 2 men in this world that I've met that aren't corrupt. You and Coach.'"

When Doug and I married, he became the Priest of our family. I often mistakenly connect the word "Priest" with someone who will verbally leads their flock in the ways of the Lord. But if a person teaches the Word and then lives a life outside of the Word, has he truly led his people to God? Leading by example is just as important as the spoken word.

So I write today to express my thankfulness to God for putting Doug as head over me. He lives every day trying to point those he influences toward Christ and the fullness that life as a disciple of Jesus brings. When I come home from school frustrated because I had to discipline students more than I taught music that day, he is quick to remind me that we are sowing seeds.

God constantly reminds Doug and me that we have the opportunity to influence over 650 students every single week. We stress about it. We talk about it just about every night. What are we doing that we should be doing differently? Should I have done that? We often feel like failures - like we should have said something more when given those one-on-one opportunities to shape and mold our students. Every now and then we feel like giving up. And that's where we realize our dependence on the Lord. He has to be our Strength to carry us through the daily frustrations and our Wisdom to help us deal with matters effectively.

My good friend, Anne Land, said something to me at the beginning of the school year that I now claim - "I want to be all used up for Jesus when I die." We pray that He's using us up!

The Last Trip of the Summer

The final week of summer vacation is upon us. I knew it was coming, but the mental preparation wasn't enough. Doug and I returned home from our last trip of the summer on Saturday and reality hit me like a ton of bricks. No more sleeping late - the alarm clock will soon be sounding at 5:45am. No more eating lunch whenever I want - my lunch time at school is promptly at 11am. No more "doing whatever we want". We have to turn back into responsible adults!!!

There's something to be said for having a scheduled day, but we sure have enjoyed the lazy mornings of summer, the many trips we've been able to take, the time to work on projects around the house (I'll soon have pics of our semi-renovated kitchen!). Summer is an absolute God-send to teachers, but August forever looms ahead of us to remind us that it doesn't last forever. :)

Last week we went to Atlanta to spend time with Doug's family. We had a great visit with his dad and step-mom, and I also got to meet his half-sister Salina and her husband Paul. I did a poor job of remembering to take pictures, but I did make sure to get one of us with Doug's brother Scot and his fiance, Ashley. They got engaged the night we arrived in Atlanta, so it was especially fun to see Ashley's excitement of being a newly engaged woman.

I was able to spend a few hours with my best friend, Cara, and her 2 little ones. (Again - I was a forgetful photographer.) And then I attended my first professional soccer game! AC Milan played Club America. It was fun, but I have to admit that I like Hinds Soccer better. There's just something about knowing the coach that gets me a little more emotionally involved. :)

From Atlanta, we traveled to Florida to see Doug's brother Chuck and his family. We had a BLAST playing in the pool with our nieces and nephew - Taylor, Ashlyn and Jackson. They are definitely some of the coolest kids on the planet! We can't wait to go visit again soon!

The soon-to-be Mrs. Ashley Whittington, Scot, Doug and Elaine at the Georgia Dome

It was hard to capture a good picture of 2-year old Jackson. He was on the go ALL OF THE TIME!!!

Taylor and Ashlyn having fun with Uncle Doug in the swimming pool.

We've decided that having a pool in the backyard is AWESOME!!!